Mothering Bust

I’m not an elementary teacher. I’m not equipped to homeschool. These days in quarantine have left me feeling like I’m failing this mothering thing. I had the brilliant idea last weekend to search through the attic for party supplies and carnival games. Throwing a party is my mothering talent, and thanks to volunteering this past year at the school as the PTA-Program and Events “person”, I can set up a party in under 30 minutes.

I wanted my kids to have fun and I wanted to feel like I was succeeding at something. Our favorite family vacation spot is Disneyland, so I grab all the attic things to turn our backyard into DIY Disneyland…or at least make it feel like we were actually getting to go somewhere fun for the day.

I handmade all the signs, set up the games, popped the popcorn, and created a special Disney drink. Then the moment to show the kids what I was up to came. I just knew they would be so excited.

But, not everyone was impressed with my skills. Mila (my 6 year old) leaped for joy and ran straight to the Disney drinks, and then to play the games. But, Caleb. Caleb (my 8 year old) turned to me with disappointed eyes and asked where his friends were. He grouchily expressed his disappointment by telling me that playing games by himself is not a fun surprise. “Where are my friends, or at least where are my cousins? We always see cousins when we go to Disneyland!”-Caleb

What a bust. I wanted them both to have fun. I wanted to bring joy during this trialing time of quarantine life. I wanted to feel like I was good at something.

These are the moments that we tend to hid from others. I could post on IG these cute pictures of our DIY Disneyland adventure and show Mila having fun, but you wouldn’t get the chance to see how much of a failure I felt that day.

This Mother’s Day, if you are feeling less than or liked a busted mama, then I want you to know that I see you, and you’re not alone. You are a good mama. You try because you care. Happy Mother’s Day, sista.